Finally...

A level had come to the end.
i had to start a new life and a new journey or maybe a new chapter of my life.
It is kinda insecure just like wat stella said.
Before the A level, i had been demoralised really demoralised first time for my life. Maybe this is wat one may had to been thru pass thru and experience it.

The prelims, is the worst nightmare to me. I think no one can understand this feelin of cannot get wat u wan as it is way too high for me to reach. Singapore gave me a whole new experience of life. I , valerie, had never failed in my whole life except once or twice becos of "Pikachu" ( my chms frens will know ) and a open book test. These two i didn't relli get the "fail" feelin that i should feel becos everyone is feelin that way and had the same score as u do so there is nothin to fear of or be demoralised of... but this yr JC 2 realli gave me a full blast. Mid yr i should say i got the same old results but i didn't relli sad because i didn't realli put heart into it or should i say it jus another exam to me. i tell myself there is still chance for me like the prelims, n the As. But who knows i work hard for my prelims but it come out the same thing. is it fate? or am i not hardworking enough. and this is the time i feel super duper sad. i kept on blame myself and cry and cry. that's all i can do. i reflected am i that stupid or just its not my luck. i wanna talk to someone who can understand what i feel. but no one relli wan to hear my thoughts. all i can hear are " you can do it la" " a level will be easier than this" " have faith in urself"" be confident" " i oso like that wat" " u won't fail one la if u like that then how bout me?" " don't be sad u have improve although it is still in the same grade" i became even upset because i cannot not face the truth. Then i cry cry again , felt that there is no hope in me. i was thinking of giving up as my parents said if u must work hard if not u will watse ur 18 yrs. i am really scared and intimidated.

Then i talk to myself , did i make the right choice? maybe maynot. Lastly i come to a conclusion, the A's will be my last chance and my only chance, if realii i cannot get the satisfied result then its really fate. i did my best. So doin the A's i only had one thing that is to sit the exam and that's it. if lucky then i get through this gate if not then i will pursue another path. THat's life isn't it? There is nothin to be afraid of now. Its over. And new Chapter of my life is waiting for me.