Updates!

First week staying at seremban.
Lots happen there.
First it is the house we stayed. SUPER nice to stay in compared to last time where we need to share the place with rats. ewww. so now it is haven't and stayin wif super nice Uncle.
Things had been busy in the ward.
Last day of the ward was my first time seeing a patient dying in front of me.
It was sad.
Especially when u saw the whole process.
It is called "AN LE" die i suppose.
It is a bit saddening when i told the doctor " could u look at the patient, she seems to not breathing"
I know she had cheynes stroke respiration ( which is breath for a while, stop, then breath again) but that one was a bit long. plus she vomited and with cold extremities, something is wrong.
and the doctor jus treat me like the family member, screen us. and told me, " okay this patient is DNR - do not resusitate. so we can't do much for this patient, we can't do CPR all that stuff. do u understand? if we resusitate her she will be suffering."
of cos i understand. but don't treat me like the patient's family le.
It made me sad. it made me feel " hello she is still alive and u told me this?"
So it was clear that she was DNR case. So i jus clean up my stuff and leave the patient.
After i finish cleaning, my fren told me that the patient had died. my fren even cried.
i on the other only feeling sad and feel like a tear in the heart.
We clean up the patient. unknowingly, i felt like there is a smile in her face. am i hallucinating?
yea, i am. at that point it made me recall back that she was still moving her hands so vigorously the other day. now. silent. everything is so silent. It is that calm for one to die? i am still in dilemma.
Okay i think this will be a full stop to this event.

since i come back from seremban for the weekend. i suppose i should update my blog on certain topics before seremban postings:
1) chap goh mei dinner
2) MAB and kidney center visiting
3) Poster presentation.