Mixed Feelings.

I haven't been blogging for a long time, yet i choose to blog during the busiest time of my schedule when i need to finish up an assignment of 3000 words in one day, n yet i choose to be here, ignoring the burden. Thanks to my itchy hand and my brain that is not functioning well these days.

These days a lot of things happen. Things changed from better to worse.

Human relationship is just too fragile.

Human Life is just too short.

Maybe i should choose a religion.

Where i can ask y and trust is my answer to everything.

Prejudice. an unfavorable opinion or feeling formed beforehand or without knowledge.

Shouldn't be having that but come on la, as human how to not have prejudice or so called " self made impression about others" I guess everyone is grew up differently, have different beliefs. but but but... just can't accept what had happened to our friends. have they change or did they is always been behaving that way, just that they hide it too well that we didn't realize and couldn't lend a hand when it supposed?

Great disappointment. Too many politics. Too many beliefs. Too many individualist, I just don't understand how can human be that complex. Family is really too important, it is the basic unit of the society. I guess they are jus unlucky to be in those family but i felt sad for them that they choose the wrong path to be unlucky again during their adulthood. Is it that they lost trust in the world that they think that way and do the things they think is right and actually is wrong?? Sometimes i felt useless. i just don't wan to get involved. i think i am selfish. I am avoiding to know the real truth and yet others are revealing them bit by bit. Nasty. really nasty.

Another scenario.

i and my friend witness and involved seeing and reviving a patient that collapse 6 times infront of us.

6 times.

and only three of us did CPR, suction, giving med. where the others?

checking femoral and carotid pulse only? delaying the time of saving the patient?

I felt "xin han".

Is it suppose to be that way?

If i knew that the patient only had 30% of survival rate the maximum got 30 days. i shouldn't save him?

Why is it everyone is depending on us?

we are already out of energy and yet no one take over us?

for those people who went to hell and come back again. I really felt that they are really really the most luckiest people on earth to be able to survive and live again. It is not easy.

Let's give all our blessings to my patient and patient's family so that they can stand strong although one of their family members already not there especially the wife.